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Welcome Readers!

Welcome to my blog: Today's Lady Virtue. This site is for women--wives, mothers, singles, widows, family, friends, etc.! My heart is to share loving encouragement coupled with timeless truths from God's Word, the Bible, to enlighten, uplift, and empower women of today. At Today's Lady Virtue we're about "Reclaiming Virtuous Womanhood today the Time-tested Way!" Here you will find a variety of posts from poems, to "Put into Practice" principles, to pictures and more! I invite you to voyage with me on the quest to become Today's Lady Virtue.







Tuesday, February 2, 2010

The A's of a FruitLESS and FruitFULL Marriage

Aa


A is for ASSUMING     making judgments before gathering the facts


A is for ADORING        the extension of heartfelt expressions of mutual love, admiration, respect and value that one has for one’s spouse

These ABC's of a FruitLESS or FruitFULL marriage are intended to be fun and though-provoking not "gospel" or absolute.  I think they are useful for providing visible contrasts in our behavior and can help spotlight areas that we are doing well in (or need improvement in) our marriages.

While there are several definitions of words, we will look at assuming to mean making judgments before gathering facts.  In other words, when we make assumptions, we merely suppose what happened or what our spouse was thinking without actually communicating with them.  We make our own interpretations, read their actions (or in-actions) or words through our own grid or lenses, without stopping to ask for an opportunity for them to reveal their thoughts on the matter.  

The negative action I see here is lack of communication.  If we make decisions based on what we think our spouse will say or do, we may miss out on the wonderful opportunity to communicate with our spouse about important matters.  We can all to easily make negative assumptions regarding our spouse's motives, behavior, decision-making, etc. when we forget to converse with them.  Our minds and thoughts are so powerful.  Soon we begin to believe that all of our assumptions about our spouse are genuinely accurate.  We can almost make up character qualities, responses, decisions they will likely make, etc.--purely based on assumptions and not fact.

As busy as life on earth is, it is really easy to make assumptions and run with them.  Challenge: Stop.  Spend some special time with your spouse.  Cuddle.  Talk. Listen.  Laugh.  Ask questions.  Bask in silence.  Wait.  Pray.  Reconnect.  Listen.  Share.  Praise God and look forward to the next communication connection.  If you make an assumption about your spouse, always assume the positive.  Listen to him.  Gather the facts before running away with your assumptions.


Song of Solomon 1:3-5

3 Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes; your name is like perfume poured out.
Let the king bring me into his chambers.
 
Friends
We rejoice and delight in you [a] ;
we will praise your love more than wine.
Beloved
How right they are to adore you! 5 Dark am I, yet lovely,
O daughters of Jerusalem,
dark like the tents of Kedar, like the tent curtains of Solomon. [b]
 Adoring (adoration), according to Merriam-Webster,  means to regard with loving admiration and devotion, and to be very fond of.

Awwww.  How sweet!  I want my man to adore me!  What about you?  Actually, I am blessed that my man does adore me and I adore him!  How does he do that?  Simple.  He stops and spends special time with me.  He cuddles with me.  He talks to me.  He listens to me.  He laughs with me.  He asks me questions.  He is silent with me.  He waits for me to finish my story.  He prays with me.  He reconnects with me.  Did I mention he listens to me?  He shares his thoughts and heart with me.  He praises God for me and (eagerly) looks forward to his next communication reconnection with me.  

Do you know what?  I adore him, too.  I can show him my adoration for him in the same way he shows me!  The key to adoration is communication.  Communicate your adoration for your spouse in as many ways as you know how.  Create new ways to adore him.  Spice it up!  Keep it interesting.  Don't just assume, communicate vibrantly with your spouse and ADORE him!   

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