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Welcome to my blog: Today's Lady Virtue. This site is for women--wives, mothers, singles, widows, family, friends, etc.! My heart is to share loving encouragement coupled with timeless truths from God's Word, the Bible, to enlighten, uplift, and empower women of today. At Today's Lady Virtue we're about "Reclaiming Virtuous Womanhood today the Time-tested Way!" Here you will find a variety of posts from poems, to "Put into Practice" principles, to pictures and more! I invite you to voyage with me on the quest to become Today's Lady Virtue.

Friday, February 5, 2010

The C's of a FruitLESS and FruitFULL Marriage

Reminder: These ABC's of a FruitLESS or FruitFULL marriage are intended to be fun and though-provoking not "gospel" or absolute.  I think they are useful for providing visible contrasts in our behavior and can help spotlight areas that we are doing well in (or need improvement in) our marriages.

C is for CRYING     excessive watering of the eyes; acceptable in cases not involving the manipulation of one’s spouse for the purpose of “getting your way” such as during sad movies or AT&T commercials; occasional outbursts also allowable during pregnancy

C is for CARING     the unselfish action of noticing and nurturing the needs of one’s spouse; done without expectation or obligation

Yes, there is a time to cry in the marriage and not all crying is bad!  The negative factor with crying comes in when it is done for the wrong reason.  Motives matter!!!  Crying to control, manipulate, coerce, and/or guilt-trip our spouses to give in to our way, wants, desires, and/or plan is ill-intentioned.  While it may produce our desired outcome, chances are that we have succeeded only in pushing away our spouses.  Instead of gaining their sympathy, compassion, or understanding, we achieve a desired result minus our spouse's respect and a loving relationship.

There is someone who is THE shoulder to cry on.  Do you know who He is?  That's right, God the Father, the God of ALL Comfort and Father of Compassion (see 2 Corinthians 1:2-4).  He wants us to cast our every care on Him...because HE CARES FOR US!!!  Read the following passage and see how true God's care is.  Moses speaks (com)plainly...Is that a word?...and boldly (yet still respectfully) to the God of heaven and earth.  He casts his cares on Him because GOD CARES FOR HIM. 

Exodus 33:11-13 (New International Version)

11 The LORD would speak to Moses face to face, as a man speaks with his friend. Then Moses would return to the camp, but his young aide Joshua son of Nun did not leave the tent.
Moses and the Glory of the LORD
 12 Moses said to the LORD, "You have been telling me, 'Lead these people,' but you have not let me know whom you will send with me. You have said, 'I know you by name and you have found favor with me.' 13 If you are pleased with me, teach me your ways so I may know you and continue to find favor with you. Remember that this nation is your people."
When you are frustrated with your husband, remember this special verse as I do...but give him grace...he is NOT perfect...and neither are you and I...

"5 For your Maker is your husband—
       the LORD Almighty is his name—
       the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer;
       he is called the God of all the earth."
Isaiah 54:5

If it is important to you, it is important to me! 

Philippians 2:1-11

Imitating Christ's Humility
 1If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. 3Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
 5Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
 6Who, being in very nature[a] God,
      did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
 7but made himself nothing,
      taking the very nature[b] of a servant,
      being made in human likeness.
 8And being found in appearance as a man,
      he humbled himself
      and became obedient to death—
         even death on a cross!
 9Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
      and gave him the name that is above every name,
 10that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
      in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
 11and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
      to the glory of God the Father.
This "What's important to you is important to me" line of thinking is the heartbeat of caring within a marriage.  We can invest in knowing our spouses...what makes them "tick"...what spells L O V E or
R E S P E C T to them...what helps them unwind or relax...what stresses them out or causes them anxiety...what they fear and dread...what they look forward to or anticipate...what energizes or motivates them...what irks them...what their quirks are...what makes for fun and recreation to them...and so on...

When we take the time to KNOW and Get-to-know our spouses, we will understand how to care for them.  The reverse is also true.  When we allow ourselves to be known by our spouse, they will, likewise, be more aware of how to care for us. 

We've got to start somewhere!  Challenge: This weekend focus on knowing your spouse in at least one area of who they are.  Minister to them by caring for that need by the end of the weekend!  Allow your spouse to know one thing about you as well.  Note how the cycle of caring circles...and thank God for HIS CARE about YOUR CARES!  :)

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