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Welcome to my blog: Today's Lady Virtue. This site is for women--wives, mothers, singles, widows, family, friends, etc.! My heart is to share loving encouragement coupled with timeless truths from God's Word, the Bible, to enlighten, uplift, and empower women of today. At Today's Lady Virtue we're about "Reclaiming Virtuous Womanhood today the Time-tested Way!" Here you will find a variety of posts from poems, to "Put into Practice" principles, to pictures and more! I invite you to voyage with me on the quest to become Today's Lady Virtue.







Sunday, February 7, 2010

The E's of a FruitLESS and FruitFULL Marriage

Ee

Reminder: These ABC's of a FruitLESS or FruitFULL marriage are intended to be fun and though-provoking not "gospel" or absolute.  I think they are useful for providing visible contrasts in our behavior and can help spotlight areas that we are doing well in (or need improvement in) our marriages.

E is for EGGING ON     the action of provoking one’s spouse to anger; also called “pushing buttons”

E is for ENJOYING     the heart-warming action of cherishing one’s spouse and relishing time spent with them no matter what they are doing

It is funny to me how certain words cause me to hearken back to an event, a day, a time, or something specific in my past.  Of course a single word can surface an entire song for me as well.  The term "egging on" takes me back to my childhood when I would irritate my younger brother.  I knew just how to annoy, perturb, provoke, agitate, or "egg him on".

My Mom would insist, "Shannon, don't egg on your brother!"  "OK.  OK.  Ha Ha.  I'll stop..."

We can translate the same irritating behavior, manners, and methods into our marriages as well.  It doesn't take long to figure out what can irk our spouses.  While we may not choose to provoke them on a regular basis, we still know how to agitate them if we want to.  Perhaps we even save up a Wild Card of sorts or "Special Use" card that we may choose to play against them if we get desperate...

Last month I posted a four-part tribute to my Daddy.  I shared a poem I wrote for him as well as three letters written by my Dad regarding his battle with a rare form of cancer.  In one of his messages, my Dad challenged us to be ABC thinkers.  I will copy and paste these points here for quick reference; however, you may want to link back to my Tribute to My Daddy.  ABC thinking is no doubt an excellent way to test our manners/motives to determine if what we're about to say or do will "egg on" our spouses.

ABC Thinking is easy.  All you have to do is right before you decide to say something or do something, just ask yourself, "Will this comment or action I am about to do, increase or add to my spiritual health, literal health, career health, and/or relationship health?  Or will it increase the amount of excess baggage in my life and/or in society?  Is it essential, important, or constructive?  Answer those questions honestly to yourself and then you will know what you should or should not do or say.  Do that for 10 days, then it becomes a habit, and then the truly essential and important things in our lives grow and the amount of excess baggage in our hearts, minds, bodies, workplaces, families, circle of friends, and society drops dramatically.  A win for people known and unknown. 

To help remember to do ABC Thinking, remember these acronyms: 

A ssess B aggage C ount - Before speaking or acting, ask if your personal and/or the world's "eXcess baggage" count will increase or decrease because you did or said what you were considering? 

A lways B e C onstructive - Is what you are about to do or say going to add to the important things or subtract from them? 

A lways B e C ommunicating - If it is constructive, tell people what you are thinking now, while you can.  Don't go to somebody's funeral and wish that you had told them this or that, and know that you will never get that chance to brighten their life again. 

A lways B e C aring - Kindness is the hardest thing to give away, because it is usually returned. 

A ction B egets C ommunication - Lead by example. People are always watching whether you realize it or not.  And, of course, God really  has an eye on us. 

And so on.
 Here's some encouragement from Scripture:


" 23"Everything is permissible"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible"—but not everything is constructive. 24Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others."
1 Corinthians 10:23-24
 "29Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." Ephesians 4:29-32

Bye-bye ANNOYING...Hello ENJOYING!!!
I consulted my friend, Merriam Webster the dictionary, and found these definitions for the word 
ENJOY:
intransitive verb : to have a good time 
transitive verb 1 : to have for one's use, benefit, or lot : experience ed great success>
2 : to take pleasure or satisfaction in


Share life together!  Make memories!  Try something new!  Take a risk!  Go OUTSIDE--experience God's creation together!  Laugh!  
ENJOY each other!!! 
Here are some of the things my man and I enjoy doing together...it was hard to choose the pictures b/c I have so many wonderful memories with him!  

Top L: Hot Cocoa break on our XC adventure at Grand Tetons NP; Top R: Dawn Mist Falls, Glacier NP backpacking trip; Middle R: Matt pouring water on the Continental Divide; Bottom L: King Salmon fishing in Alaska; Bottom R: Experiencing the COLD Alaskan waters on a family hike.


ENJOY your mate!

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