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Welcome to my blog: Today's Lady Virtue. This site is for women--wives, mothers, singles, widows, family, friends, etc.! My heart is to share loving encouragement coupled with timeless truths from God's Word, the Bible, to enlighten, uplift, and empower women of today. At Today's Lady Virtue we're about "Reclaiming Virtuous Womanhood today the Time-tested Way!" Here you will find a variety of posts from poems, to "Put into Practice" principles, to pictures and more! I invite you to voyage with me on the quest to become Today's Lady Virtue.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

The L's of a FruitLESS and FruitFULL Marriage, Part I


Reminder: These ABC's of a FruitLESS or FruitFULL marriage are intended to be fun and though-provoking not "gospel" or absolute.  I think they are useful for providing visible contrasts in our behavior and can help spotlight areas that we are doing well in (or need improvement in) our marriages.

L is for LYING     untruthfulness; dishonesty; usually done out of fear of what one’s spouse will think or do when he is confronted with the truth of the matter; displays lack of trust and severs relationships

L is for LAUGHING     the light-hearted and therapeutic action of bellowing from one’s soul with one’s spouse; often induces tears or trips to the restroom

Why lie ?  God hates lying, no doubt.  Do we really think we can hide our thoughts and ways from Him?  When I analyze the lies I have told, I can come up with two overriding reasons for my choice to lie : 1) My prIde (or protecting it) and 2) FEAR (scared to be "uncovered" or "exposed").

When I think about the subject of lying and marriage...well, I really think about mirrors.  

When I look in the mirror, what do I see? 
When I look at my hubby who always looks at me,
A true reflection of me I think he may see...
This wonderful man I live with is like a mirror to me.

Often there is a huge D I S C O N N E C T between the way I perceive myself and the way that I actually am.  I am a WIP "  Work in P R O G R E S S" hopefully the chasm is shortening as I mature in my relationship with Christ...Living with Matt is good for me, however, because he seems to know me sometimes even better than I know myself (like knowing he should at least double my ETA's when I'm out or give me ANOTHER refill hug like 2 seconds after he gave me ANOTHER refill hug)...not quite as well as the Lord, of course, but he is getting better and better at knowing me as He grows in Christ, too! 

The point is that there is almost no other person in my life who sees me more closely than Matt.  He sees me when I wake up, talks with me on the phone sometimes multiple times a day, and spends the evenings and nights with me, too!  He gets to experience the good, the bad, and the ugly about me..."till death do us part!"  Our marriage is one of those 'up close and personal' kinds of things, you know?  So, it is hard to HIDE from him...

I have tried protecting that non-friend of mine, prIde, and I have also lied to Matt out of FEAR.  Eventually the lies caught up to me leaving me confused about what I had said...and the FEAR part...well, it just left me BELIEVING MORE lies!  Can you believe that?  When I was either 1) afraid to tell the TRUTH or 2) FEARFUL about my hubby's (anticipated) response to the TRUTH...I discovered that I had been believing UNFOUNDED FEARS (i.e., UN-truths) about my husband. 

When I mustered the courage to tell him the TRUTH (the whole TRUTH) I was freed from both the burden of my lies as well as my UNFOUNDED FEARS about his response.  I found that, contrary to what I had FEARED, he extended the characteristic agape Love and grace that I have known and Loved about Matt from the first week I met him (no lie--my closest friends would know this).
Practice makes perfect, though...or at least greatly improved!!!  The more I practice telling the TRUTH, the more TRUTHFUL I become.  The more TRUTHthat is in my heart (the TRUTH comes from knowing Jesus through reading/studying the Bible) and comes out of me...frankly, the FREER I become.  The Love of God for me and for others fills me in a richer, deeper, and fuller measure when I am WALKING in the TRUTH.  Thank the Lord for marriage--a very effective tool He has used to help set me free from the dark web of deceit and lagoon of lying that had me entangled!

God Hates SEVEN Things (Proverbs 6:16-19):

1. Pride
2. Lying
3. Murder
4. Deceit
5. Evil/Sin
6. False Witness
7. Dissension

Some Tendencies of Lying:

Deluded liars attempt to make others forget God: 
25 "I have heard what the prophets say who prophesy lies in my name. They say, 'I had a dream! I had a dream!' 26 How long will this continue in the hearts of these Lying prophets, who prophesy the delusions of their own minds? 27 They think the dreams they tell one another will make my people forget my name, just as their fathers forgot my name through Baal worship." Jeremiah 23:25-27
Liars Avoid God's Truth, Fearing their Sins will be Revealed:
19This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men Loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. 20Everyone who does evil hates the light , and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. 21But whoever lives by the TRUTH comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God." John 3:19-21
 Liars Deny that Jesus is the Christ (but say he's just a good man, a teacher, a prophet, etc.):
 20"But you have an anointing from the Holy One, and all of you know the TRUTH.[a] 21I do not write to you because you do not know the TRUTH, but because you do know it and because no lie comes from the TRUTH. 22Who is the liar? It is the man who denies that Jesus is the Christ. Such a man is the antichrist—he denies the Father and the Son." 1 John 2:20-22

Some TRUTHS about LYING: 

Regardless of what we claim to be our beliefs about the subject of lying, God's word teaches these truths about lying.  The bottom line is this: God KNOWS and God KNOWS us.  He delights in those who accept His truth and finds liars detestable to Him.  He can see through our charm and flattery, but praises a woman who reveres Him.  

God KNOWS us:  

30"If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness. 31The God and Father of the Lord Jesus, who is to be praised forever, knows that I am not Lying."  2 Corinthians 11:30-31    

Truth-Sayers, God's delight; Liars Detestable to Him: 

21 No harm befalls the righteous,but the wicked have their fill of trouble. 22 The LORD detests Lying lips, but he delights in men who are truthful. 23 A prudent man keeps his knowledge to himself, but the heart of fools blurts out folly." Proverbs 12:21-23

Charmers Deceive but God-fearers Deserve Praise:

30 "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised." Proverbs 31:30
 Belong to Jesus = Believe His Truth OR Belong to Satan = Deny Jesus and His Truth
43"Why is my language not clear to you? Because you are unable to hear what I say. 44You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father's desire. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the TRUTH, for there is no TRUTH in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies. 45Yet because I tell the TRUTH, you do not believe me!" John 8:43-45
 Deluded, Deceived Lie-lovers Will be Condemned in the End:
9"The coming of the lawless one will be in accordance with the work of Satan displayed in all kinds of counterfeit miracles, signs and wonders, 10and in every sort of evil that deceives those who are perishing. They perish because they refused to Love the TRUTH and so be saved. 11For this reason God sends them a powerful delusion so that they will believe the lie 12and so that all will be condemned who have not believed the TRUTH but have delighted in wickedness."
2 Thessalonians 2:9-11

There is no "in-between" or "middle of the road" road.  No, there is simply the Way of Truth or the Way of Death.  Truth-lovers will live eternally in the presence of Jesus Christ.  Liars (i.e., Christ-deniers) will be condemned.   Ouch!  However, sometimes the truth hurts as the saying goes...yet the TRUTH SAVES, the TRUTH FREES, and the TRUTH is "True Love" take your pick...

NOTE: I encourage you to stay with me!  The subject of lying is so deep and heavy, yet it has the power to FREE US, SAVE US, and allow us to experience God's love in the most incredible of ways.  With the great help and wisdom of my awesome hubby, I will break out my posts on this subject into multiple posts so as not to overwhelm us more than we're probably already overwhelmed!  :)  Let's ponder these tendencies and truths about lying together, searching our own hearts on the matter of time we'll get refreshed with "  Some Truths about Truth"  and the "  Law of the Harvest."

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