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Welcome to my blog: Today's Lady Virtue. This site is for women--wives, mothers, singles, widows, family, friends, etc.! My heart is to share loving encouragement coupled with timeless truths from God's Word, the Bible, to enlighten, uplift, and empower women of today. At Today's Lady Virtue we're about "Reclaiming Virtuous Womanhood today the Time-tested Way!" Here you will find a variety of posts from poems, to "Put into Practice" principles, to pictures and more! I invite you to voyage with me on the quest to become Today's Lady Virtue.

Monday, March 7, 2011

What Makes our House a Home: Just being "Us" Together

Commitment to Christ is the FOUNDATION of my household, and building my family according to God’s Word and Way makes our house a home. It changes the way we think, challenges how we act and react, and alters the manner we speak. Seven people live here. A mom and a dad, four boys, and one little girl. Married with children (and one sweet puppy), yet marriage and motherhood are simply avenues that I presently live out my life and faith in Christ.

Nevertheless, whirlwind messes, baseball and football practices and games, and homeschool happen here. Fighting siblings, fussy little ones, and frantic speed ‘em along warnings cry out here, “Hurry up! We’re going to be late to church. We’re leaving in 5 minutes!” Many demands vie for my time and contend with my relationships. The question remains, “Where, how, or with whom will I spend it?”

Priorities. That’s what it all boils down to, I think. Eighteen years from now, I don’t want to wake up, look at the man next to me, and wonder, “WHO ARE YOU? WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY BED?” After all, I did vow my ‘till death do you part’ to him. That pledge came along with the promise of oneness, despite the pressures that rival for my attention.

So what’s a busy mama to do? How do we keep the love alive when so many stresses contend for my affections? Here’s some helps we’ve discovered to fan the flame of our love.

Lots of laughter…with each other…at each other…at ourselves.

Inside jokes. Remember that time when...speaking in "Code"...things that only we share together.

Pet names like Prince and Princess.

Little things…noticing a haircut, a vacuumed floor, taking out the trash, serving each other coffee, etc.

Flirting. Tickling. Hugging. XOXO. Real kisses in front of the kids—grosses them out, but models a secure marriage and the beauty of oneness. If they can see casual kissing on a commercial or movie, but not within the context of a committed, Christian marriage, what does that teach our children about love and marriage?

Dates. When we get the chance to go out. Also, very often in our very own home. Bedtime for the kiddos means time for Mommy and Daddy if we choose to spend it that way.

Communication. Shhh…we tell our deepest secrets. We’re closer that way.

Same team. A house divided cannot stand. If Daddy said, “No,” so did Mommy. We’re partners—we’ve got backup!

Encouragement. We comment and “like” things about each other. In public. In private. In front of the kids. Share it in e-mails. In texts. In non-verbals, too.

Dreaming. We share our dreams together. Plan for our future. Trips.

Cultivate common interests. We’re different people w/ varied gifts and abilities; however, we share some similar loves. Like backpacking and outdoorsy stuff. Adventures. These provide a common ground for us to connect, make memories, unplug from daily life, relax, and DO LIFE together.

Lots of sex. Great sex.

Clear roles. We define what we do or contribute to the marriage/family, so we’re not in competition with each other. Of course, we ask each other for help, too. Going outside the wake of our “normal” responsibilities is an opportunity to show love and respect for each other. The point: to establish what works for our relationship.

Commitment to Christ is the FOUNDATION of my household, and building my family according to God’s Word and Way makes our house a home. Marriage is simply an avenue for me to live out my faith in Christ. But following Christ's way enables me to become a better wife to my husband. Yes, my little sprouts and our busy schedule can threaten my marriage by definition of subtracting time from the priority of it. Nevertheless, the little things I shared above help me to nurture what existed before my kids and the attached responsibilities—so my hubby and I may keep being “Us” together.

How do you cultivate the "Us" in your marriage given life's demands and pressures?

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